thinking is the new black

A little window into your heroines’ personal life…

2nd of Jan and I am feeling most doolally.

I was full of optimism and gusto for the year ahead but have come to the sober realisation today, that yesterday I was still intoxicated. I twittered that I was “half human, half mojito” and to some extent this true, as on the 1st Jan 08 there was more alcohol in my veins than actual blood.

I had been saving some very fine 7 year old rum, which I’d purchased earlier in the year on a trip to Havana for a special occasion. 2007 had many special occasions, but the rum remained wrapped in the dark in the back of a cupboard until the 31st . Anyhow it began its’ fate the way most Cuban rum does, as a mojito, but by 11pm my friends & I were sat drinking it neat & commenting on its’ spicy aroma in the manner of that Jilly (where is she now?) lady who used to go all O.T.T with the wine on the BBC food and Drink show. The rum was almost our downfall as at 11:55 we only just managed to hot foot it down to the Thames to watch the fireworks. Believe me this is not easy in 5inch spiked heels. Although foot/shoe fetishist might argue that my foot looked hot, running was a complex thing.
A pub-lock in, several bottles of champagne, a ridiculous packet of menthol cigarillos thingies later, + some poached eggs on toast, I somehow made it home the following afternoon, albeit dressed as a lunatic. I had a very nice sparkly dress for the occasion of NYE, but for the walk of shame home on the 1st I had gathered some sort of paper mask with a 3rd eye, which made me look like someone from WWF. At what point during the evening I had been given/stolen this I am not sure, but the renegade in me said “Hey keep it on”. I also donned a pair of coral coloured velor track suit bottoms, and ditched the spiked heels for ballet bumps in order to be able to negotiate public transport and steps It’s very liberating dressing as a lunatic by the way, except when other lunatics spot you, and try to make lunatic conversation, which happened to me on the train ride home. Nonetheless I remained in the crazy person get up until a) someone very kind placed carbohydrates in front of me that I could eat without thinking & b) I had to get undressed to get in a bath.

See, who ever said that academics do not know how to have fun?

But back to doolallyness. It is quite possible that I am feeling restless due to the binge smoking on the 31st ergo I am suffering a massive nicotine withdrawal as a now ‘non smoker’. The 2nd theory that I have come up with is that OneNote which I use at work, destroys brain cells. But deep down, I think it is the resolution I made yesterday that in 2008, “ I will finish the thesis, oh yes, I will finish the thesis” and the pressing feeling that I really, really, must get on with it now. It’s a little incongruous that blogging about it, is a keeping me from writing the real thing don’t you think?

The national average to complete a PhD FT is 4 years and April 08 will mark 3 years for me. 2.5 of which have been done FT. I was ahead of the game but it is dawning on me that the final writing up will require complete focus.

Woe & misery. Good bye fantabulous lifestyle, hello keyboard.

I am feeling less than focused at the mo – perhaps I am just over tired.